Can we talk about the airport for a hot second? Everyone has feels about the airport experience right? They hate it, they love it, they’re scared of flying, they always arrive three hours early, etc.
I guess I don’t ever realize that I have opinions about the airport until I’m at one, and that I am. So, because I’m one of those people who is always early to the airport, what better way to pass the time than to talk about the airport. Should I say airport some more?
1) You get a free pass to eat, drink, and shop as you please. At least this is my opinion. You are stuck in a building for possibly hours at a time and one of the only forms of entertainment is either a) shopping, i.e. buying books you’ll never read from Hudson News or b) consuming cardboard food and watered down beverages while you pass the time. When is it really socially acceptable to drink wine at 10am? At the airport!
2) People have crazy stinky feet. This is a great topic of conversation you guys, I recommend it for first dates with strangers any day. But really, how do people have such stinky feet. After a long day in flats with no socks, sure, my feet aren’t smelling like their usual rosy self. But how do you actually get your feet to smell that bad. It’s unreal.
3) Some people are just chronically late airport getters toers. You see it all the time. They are the ones who aren’t just late because they are connecting to another flight. They are the ones who are standing in the security line asking to go first because they are going to miss their flight. Sure, I don’t know the circumstances so I can’t judge, but that can’t be a pleasant way to travel. I personally don’t enjoy running through the airport with my luggage flip flopping behind me. Why don’t you just leave one hour earlier next time? I think you’ll find that it’s a much more peaceful experience.
4) Some people have really good airport outfits. Sometimes I’ll go shopping and think to myself “gosh this is so comfy and simultaneously chic, this would be a great airport outfit.” And yet, somehow I always look like a schlub. What makes a great airport outfit? Is it the accessories? Is it a great hair day and a full face of make-up? I guess I’m doomed then.
5) There’s really no telling whether I’ll be a nervous flier. I started flying alone when I was 6 I think. Mom? Dad? Can you verify? Somewhere around that time I started flying to Canada to visit my father by myself. This was during the time when you could still drop off and pick people up right at the gate so it wasn’t that strange that I was doing it alone. But my point is, I should not be afraid of flying. Regardless, I often am and it hits me at strange times. Sometimes I’ll get on a plane and there will be tons of turbulence and I’m just chillin’, unphased. Other times I’m panicking as soon as the plane starts moving. There’s really no telling how it’ll go so at a certain point I have to make a decision about my sobriety on each flight. Is it hurricane season and I’m flying from Florida to New York? I should probably start throwin’ ’em back.
There you have it folks. A fascinating read for a Saturday morning, am I right? Gotta jet. Literally. ✈️