If you’ve been sickened by how positive and upbeat my recent blog posts have been, here’s a good downer for ya. Here are (some) of the worst kinds of people you’ll come across in NYC in no particular order:
1) The ones that are rude to waiters, taxi drivers, Uber drivers, or anyone in the service industry. Who raised these people? Where did they learn that one human is less valuable than another?
2) The people who accost you on the sidewalk for a good cause. This is a rough one. I understand that these people have good intentions and are truly trying to do something to save the world. However, when I see them on the street waiting to attack me when I walk by, it actually makes me feel less inclined to give money. I’m not a bad person and I do care about saving the planet, but hounding me on the street isn’t going to convince me to give you money.
3) People who think you’re standing next to the subway door politely when it opens just for fun. You know those people who decide they are going to stand in front of the subway door and push their way on without letting anyone off? Meanwhile, you are standing politely by the side of the door waiting your turn. Again, who raised these people? What makes them think they are more entitled to a seat or a certain spot on the train than anyone else?
4) People who say they’re from New York City when they are from the ‘burbs or even better, another state. I’m not trying to be a snooty New Yorker though sometimes I accidentally am. Here’s the thing, I’ve actually had the following conversation:
Me: Where are you from?
Non-New Yorker: New York, you?
Me: New York! Where in New York are you from?
Non-New Yorker: Well I’m actually from Connecticut but I say I’m from New York because it’s easier OR I say I’m from New York because some people don’t know Connecticut.
People haven’t heard of the state called Connecticut? Wasn’t it one of the first states to join the union? Is this a real argument? I’m not saying you can’t decide you want to call yourself a New Yorker. Sometimes I’d like to call myself a Mainer. But if someone asks you where you’re from, isn’t it kind of good to actually say like…where you’re from?
5) Those people who think you are personally attacking them if you inadvertently touch them. On one occasion I was standing on a very crowded subway and unknowingly hit a woman’s foot with my foot. I hadn’t noticed that I had done it until she started talking to her friend loudly about how rude I was and that I hadn’t even apologized. Even after I told her I was sorry she continued to talk about me and how entitled I was. I understand how annoying it is when people go through the world completely unaware of their surroundings, but in this situation, that really wasn’t the case. I swear!
6) Those people who can’t stop talking about how awful New York is. They go on and on about how it’s dirty, there are rats and cockroaches, the subways are terrible, there’s so much crime, etc. OK yes, a lot of that is true but 1) why are you here if you hate it and 2) are you accurately comparing what it would be like to live in other areas of the country/world? Would you rather live in Arizona with the scorpions? Or in the Carolinas with the Snakes and Spiders? My cousin lived in South Carolina and found a snake in her mailbox and woke up with a tarantula on her face. Is that really what you would prefer? Suit yourself. Also, New York hasn’t been rated in the top 10 most dangerous states in at least four years (I know ’cause I used the interwebs to look it up) so let’s just calm down.
PS. I’m not saying you have to love New York. It’s not for everyone. But what’s the point of complaining about it endlessly? Right?
7) People who really don’t feel like doing their jobs. Have you ever been in a store trying to pay for something and the cashier acts like you are inconveniencing them SO much by your sheer presence? Like the fact that she/he has to stop their conversation to do their job is such a nuisance? As I said in statement #1, being rude to people in the service industry is not OK, but these types of humans really grind my gears.
8) Bad parenting in public (and in private). If I had a penny for every time I’ve seen a parent scream at/hit their child because the child is yelling or crying, I’d be rich. I think these are the parents that raise the people who grow up to be #1 and #3. In what universe do you think that yelling at your child for yelling is a productive way of teaching them a lesson?
9) People who take up the entire sidewalk. Why do they think it’s OK to walk in a line right next to each other? Do they think there aren’t other people who need to get somewhere? This is when I turn into that stereotypical New Yorker who angrily tells people to move out of the way. Just kidding, I don’t generally say this out loud, only in my head.